


40. Shoulder

by parka_girl



Category: Infinite (Band), MYNAME (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 09:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5042554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parka_girl/pseuds/parka_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Introspection about a world not ready for their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	40. Shoulder

Insu's mouth finds Myungsu's shoulder in the darkness of their room, the confines of their bed. Myungsu leans into the touch, the warmth of Insu's mouth, the scrap of his teeth against skin. He turns, his mouth seeking Insu's, hungry and desperate. Dawn will come soon, bringing morning with it and this relationship, their time together, will drift into nothingness.

Insu's hands skim along Myungsu's body. They're both naked, having fallen asleep that way after sex the night before. Insu had been waiting for Myungsu get home. They'd eaten dinner, far too late, but it couldn't be helped. If they want to be together, they have to sneak around. The world isn't ready for them, their families aren't ready for them. Their friends aren't, either.

Dinner, cleaning up and then falling into bed. Myungsu had fallen asleep with Insu pressed against his back, holding him close. This is their secret, their dirty and dark secret they can tell no one. Sometimes, in the middle of the night or when they both have a free weekend, they pretend they could come out.

But they cannot. Insu's fans couldn't handle the rumors that he was dating a woman and they certainly couldn't handle that he's actually dating, fucking, in love with a man. His blossoming solo career, one that Myungsu loves because he loves Insu's voice as much as any of Insu's fangirls, would be destroyed. Myungsu's company would shunt him away to the military, where he needs to go anyway. His acting career would vanish and he'd be a nobody when he discharged.

He is okay with that. He could take photographs instead of acting, but Insu sees through him. Insu knows Myungsu better than Myungsu knows himself (and Myungsu finds that he, too, knows Insu better than Insu knows himself) and wouldn't allow him to throw away what could be a promising career. They have too much invested in their careers and in each other, to make these decisions lightly -- to make them at all.

They fuck, they make love, at night, in the morning, in the middle of the afternoon. They talk on the phone, they text, they find themselves assigned seats next to each other at certain events. But they are not out. They are not public. In front of the cameras they aren't themselves. There are stories, rumors, about their friendship. Insu has never acted and Myungsu never sung, they only met by chance. Filming a commercial.

But then Insu sang some tracks on an OST for one of Myungsu's dramas. And then Myungsu played a popstar in a drama and while his voice isn't the best, it was passable. And he, too, sang some songs for an OST. Insu was invited as a guest on the drama and they sang a duet and behind the scenes they fell in love. It was four years earlier. Myungsu was 18 and Insu was 22.

The popstar role was Myungsu's first lead. Insu had enlisted at 18 and discharged in time to win some sort of idol show. Myungsu had vague memories of watching it. After Myungsu's stint as a child actor landed him bigger roles, that CF (when he was only 16) and then that popstar lead. He'd met Insu a handful of times and knew to call him hyung. But he hadn't realized he was falling in love until it was too late.

Myungsu had always known he'd liked boys. If it hadn't been for the internet, he never would've known it was okay. He also knew, thanks to his parents, that he couldn't ever come out. Not if he wanted them in his life and not if he wanted a career. His experience with boys was limited, though not nonexistent. There was a boy, in high school. There was another, a costar who now pretends they don't know each other. Myungsu doesn't care.

But he didn't think he'd ever fall in love. He never expected the way his heart feels, whenever he talks to Insu. And he never, ever, expected someone to love him back the way he loves them. Insu is everything to Myungsu, without actually being everything. When Myungsu enlists, which he will soon because he's long overdue, it will be the longest he's been apart from Insu since he was 18.

They can't come out before Myungsu enlists and though he'll be away two years, Myungsu knows better than to expect the world to change. Insu will send him away with love and tears and Myungsu will soldier on, through active duty as his boyfriend did those many years earlier. And he will come out stronger, tougher and still as in love with Insu as ever.

But that's not for six months. Right now he has a drama to finish and a movie to film. He has Insu's concert to attend and commercials to complete. But mostly he has to cram in as much time with Insu as humanly possible. Because he doesn't know what he's going to down without him.

Insu's mouth finds Myungsu's, kissing him hard, intense as if he knows what Myungsu's thinking. And he probably does. Myungsu's enlistment hangs over them like a black cloud. But neither of them let it get between them. It's not yet rained on them, though the cloud remains. Instead, it's keeping them together, binding them to each other.

Myungsu's mouth against Insu's, now. He can feel Insu mumbling words against his mouth and he has no need to hear them to know what he's saying. It's words of love and longing. Six months they have left, before Myungsu leaves. Six months to make every moment count. Six months.

Myungsu stops thinking as Insu's mouth moves down his body. He arches up, skin hot in the chilly air of the bedroom. Insu's skin hot against his. Myungsu's fingers dig into Insu's shoulder, pulling him back up until they're kissing, pressed against each other. He'll miss this, of course he will, but even more, he'll miss Insu. He'll miss everything that makes him love his boyfriend, but mostly he'll miss the man, the person Insu is. He'll miss waking up in bed next to him, falling asleep in his arms. He'll miss it and he'll wait, like he knows Insu will wait and when it's over they'll be together.


End file.
